Gary Sinise Is Keeping Busy

Gary Sinise masks inner rage with shit-eating grin

D-List celebrity and convicted child murderer, Gary Sinise, awarded himself the fictitious Gary Sinise Fucked Your Mom award, an award he invented only moments before awarding it to himself.
   CGD had a chance recently to speak with Mr. Sinise about his latest accomplishment.
   "Fuck you," said Mr. Sinise. "I fucking hate everything. If I could I would physically destroy the entire World, but I can't, not physically, so I make sickening movies and television programs to destroy people mentally."

Nancy Grace confesses, Caylee Anthony's death makes me cream.

Nancy Grace, the outspoken advocate of victims’ rights and one of television's most respected legal analysts, has confessed to frequent feelings of "extreme arousal" when discussing the gruesome details of Caylee Anthony demise on her top-rated Headline News program. To most of her viewers, this comes as no surprise.
   Doris Middleton of Clearwater, MI is the founder of the Nancy Grace fan club. "It's pretty obvious that she gets off by talking about it," explains Doris. "We all get off on it. That's why we watch." Doris admits to masturbating when watching Nancy Grace's news program.
   CGD requested a comment from Nancy Grace, but instead received this reply from the Headline News legal team: "Headline News cannot confirm or deny that thoughts of Caylee Anthony's death make Nancy Grace cream, or to what extent they make her cream."

Maria Shriver's New Digs.

Maria Shriver has moved into her new waterfront home, located at the dock behind a decaying warehouse owned by the Port Authority.
   "I got myself a nice cardboard box," Maria told CGD. "It's very roomy. And I do my dookies in this bucket."
    Maria talked about her plans to remodel. "My friend Snitchy is gonna spray paint the side of my box to advertise my new business. It's gonna say '5 cent Handjobs'. Oh boy, I'm gonna be rolling in dough."
    When asked about her future, "I got prospects. Things are looking up for ol' Maria Shriver."

Heath Ledger commemorated with tickle party.

Friends in Perth, Australia honored the memory of Heath Ledger this past weekend with a commemorative tickle party. Heath, who died last year from a gunshot wound to the face, was known for his roles in films such as Brokeback Mountain and Batman Again, but those close to him remember him best for his world-class tickle parties.
   "Heath loved his tickle parties," recalls his friend and fellow actor Orlando Bloom. "We'd all get naked, just us guys, and we'd tickle each other silly for hours. It was a lot of fun." But Heath also suffered from deep emotional problems. "One time a naked Michelle Williams tried to join in on one of our tickle parties," Orlando told CGD. "Heath took one look between her legs and started to cry. He screamed, 'this little boy's penis has been ripped off' and 'Jack the Ripper is back from the dead', then he had a seizure. He was always doing stuff like that."

Matthew McConaughey drops an N-Bomb.

Matthew McConaughey thought he was talking to an 8-year-old girl via Skype from the comfort of his hot tub at his summer home near Blackwater, Mississippi. Instead he was talking to a black man from Perverted Racial Justice, an organization that works with law enforcement to trick white celebrities into using the N-word by posing as underage children on-line seeking sex with adults. Celebrity Gossip Daily has obtained an excerpt from the transcript of that conversation:

MrCherryPoppins41: Ever had your ass licked? You'd like it. lol

iCarlyNo1Fan: That sounds great. Do you hate N-Words?

MrCherryPoppins41: Um... Sure. I guess. I could teach you a lot of stuff. I'd make you feel really good. You'd luv it.

iCarlyNo1Fan: Ya know what turns me on, lol, when guys use the N-Word. LMAO!

MrCherryPoppins41: You should come over, check out my hot tub. U like Zima?

iCarlyNo1Fan: Say the N-Word!

MrCherryPoppins41: I'd really rather not.